Full list of jokes
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will never be able tosupport you.Link to joke: Why is a Laundromat a really...
Q: Why is a violist like a terrorist?A: They both fuck up bowings.Link to joke: Q: Why is a violist like...
Q: Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?A: Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you?.swear you'll never do it again.Link to joke: Q: Why is having a wank...
Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won ?Link to joke: Did any of you other married...
Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet,sensitive men in this world?Because they already have boyfriends!Link to joke: Why is it so hard for...
Why Jim Smith Lost His First LoveJim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, andafter careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves.Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister, he went to a departmentstore and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pairof panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up.(The sweetheart got the panties.) Without checking the contents, Jimsealed his package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note.Dearest Darling,This is a little gift to show you I have not forgotten you this Christmas.I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearingany when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your youngersister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wearsthe short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, butthe lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had worn for threeweeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on andshe really looked smart. I wish I could put them on you the first time.No doubt, other men's hands will come in contact with them before I havethe chance to see you again. When you take them off blow in them beforeputting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hopeyou like them and will wear them for me next Friday night. All My Love, JimmyP.S. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the sales girl showed me how they look when worn in the latest style - folded down with the fur showing.Link to joke: Why Jim Smith Lost His First...
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to theother and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I gohome after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before Iget to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Itake my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, Iget undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakesup and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking thewrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my handson my wife's butt and say, 'Hey honey, wanna fool around?' ....and she'salways sound asleep."Link to joke: Two married buddies are out drinking...
"Will the father be present during the birth?"asked the obstetrician."Nah," replied the mother-to-be,"He and my husband don't get along."Link to joke: "Will the father be present during...
Wise men never marry and when they marry they become otherwise.Link to joke: Wise men never marry and when...
With all the recent talk of cloning, you'd think it was a new thing.But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago. The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the\madder the father got. One day, the father got so mad he pushed his son off a high cliff. The sheriff arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.Link to joke: With all the recent talk of...