Full list of jokes
This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well andliving in South America. He managed to wrangle a 'once-in-a-lifetime'interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal whereHitler was living. He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, itwas Adolf Hitler, looking very old. He interviewed him, asking him allsorts of questions, and as a final question, asked "What are you doing now,in the twilight of your life?"Hitler replied "Hah! Twilight of my life! I'll have you know that I amsecretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America! Thistime we'll do it right. We have a foolproof plan - this time we will killEVERY JEW in the world - and 6 MEXICANS!!!".The journalist asked "...but...but....but why 6 MEXICANS??"Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled "SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES ASHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!"Link to joke: This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler...
All of a sudden, the wife smacks her husband. The husband was totally dumfounded and asks, "What was that for?" Wife said, "Because, you are a bad fuck". Couple of minutes later, the husband smacks his wife. This time, the wife was confused and asked, "And may I ask what's that about?" Husband said, " Simple, because you know the difference.Link to joke: All of a sudden, the wife...
Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!" One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that shit?"Link to joke: Two bananas are lying on a...
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wifein bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted.To which his wife said to her lover 'See, I told you he was stupid'Link to joke: An angry husband returned home one...
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.""That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?""The guy was your doctor."Link to joke: An artist asked the gallery owner...
An elderly couple in a senior's home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys's penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another women holding his penis. "What's she got that I don't have" she says. He looks up with a large smile on his face and replies "Parkinson's"Link to joke: An elderly couple in a senior's...
An elderly couple walk into a doctor's office. The man tells the doctor, "Doctor, we want to have a baby." The doctor replies,"At your age I don't think it's possible, but I'll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample." So the couple comes back a few days later.They give the doctor an empty jar. The doctor says,"I was afraid of this." The old man says,"No, it's not what you think. I tried it with my left hand. I tried it with my right hand. She tried it with her left hand. She tried it with her right hand. She tried it with her teeth in. She tried it with her teeth out. But we couldn't get the lid off the jar."Link to joke: An elderly couple walk into a...
An elderly couple, living apart, had been datingfor several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy,"We should stop this nonsense. We are paying tworents, two car insurance payments, buying separatefood and cooking separate meals. We should justmove in together. Betsy: Whose house would we live in? Elmer: Mine, it is already paid for. Betsy: Whose car would we keep and pay insurance on? Elmer: Yours, it is newer and runs better than mine. Betsy: Who would do the cooking? Elmer: You cook and I'll do the dishes. Betsy: What about sex? Elmer: Infrequently. Betsy: Is that one word or two?Link to joke: An elderly couple, living apart, had...
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked."Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.""You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested."Sectional schmectional." she bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"Link to joke: An elderly woman entered a large...
"Look at me." an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. "I've aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.""I certainly have to agree with that." piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. "Henry's cork's been stationary for years."Link to joke: "Look at me." an elderly Yuppie...
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